“You must hear the very same thing over and over again” my coachee said, as we finished the session. I have to admit, he caught me off guard and caused me to pause. I think one of the things I have learned in my years of coaching through helping and challenging people in different situations, stages of their lives and parts of the world, is that there are no two people that share the exact same situation, thoughts or ideas.
It is very unfortunate but mother nature reminds us of our fragility from time to time. In September 2017, Greater Houston, the 4th largest city in the United Sates with almost 7 million habitants, was devastated with floods. We have been trapped in our homes with many roads closed and we have witnessed through news, text messages, phone calls and social media how less fortunate friends have been evacuated from their flooded homes.
They say that the 3 top fears for a human being are public speaking, death and dancing in public, and it seems they are in that order. As I have worked as a Coach and consultant with many people and as a manager of teams, I can confirm that public speaking fear is indeed very threatening for many people.
Coaching has become a popular formula for leadership development in organizations and it is migrating from a private engagement for top level executives with their coaches to organizations looking to create a full coaching culture in their workplaces. But what does that mean? Having a coaching culture is not telling your managers to coach better or to practice active listening. Coaching is a personal transformation because it allows everyone to develop a better version of themselves with these principles:
Being a good communicator is more than being able to speak clearly and effectively. There are three things you learn in coaching that can take your communication skills to the next level
Listen. Observe. Accept. Move.
There is a fine line between constructive criticism and just flat out disapproval. Being on the receiving end can either be helpful or make you defensive. We are all born with the ability to express ourselves; we all know how to display emotions and we all communicate them, unfortunately we are not all equipped with the same ability of knowing exactly when we should communicate certain thoughts, feelings or suggestions, I call it tact. Some are born with it; and others, well sadly it takes a lifetime.
Excuse the title but I couldn’t help myself, I thought getting you to smile a little is good for the soul. I know the title I chose could be interpreted many ways. In this particular case I want to share an activity that can be helpful in generating ideas, sharing thoughts, working out problems, looking at different perspectives, even releasing negative energy. I learned this technique from my coach trainer during my coach certification program, and sad to say, he had to remind me to put it into practice again. I seem to have forgotten the power and relief it can provide.
Can this be changed? Can I do something about it?
I am a firm believer of goals, plans and actions, I am convinced that if I have not gotten something in life, it is because I have not had the discipline to implement a good plan to get it, I think that is empowering. But I also recognize that sometimes some of our energy gets lost on trying to change something that will not change.